Grandma and Santana

Normally I would have a lot to say after the Minnesota Twins traded Johan Santana to the New York Mets. How many times in any one person's life does the best player in a sport get traded to your favorite team?

Even better, how many times does the best pitcher in Major League Baseball get traded to your favorite team for three guys who barely, if ever, played in the majors, and another guy who is basically a track star in a baseball uniform? It doesn't happen. If it does, it's once in a lifetime.

The three pitchers the Mets traded have potential — much like Alex Escobar, Alex Ochoa, Bill Pulsipher, Paul Wilson, Damon Buford and countless other busts in Mets history had potential — but potential doesn't win games or championships. Performance does. Santana is the ultimate in performance.

The one position player the Mets traded, the track star in question, is Carlos Gomez. To give you an idea of how I see Carlos Gomez, picture this: My older brother used to play slo-pitch softball in a league in Bristol. He had a teammate who was a stereotypical Irish guy. He would drink like a fish after the games (before I think, too), he had red hair, a ton of freckles and to top it all off, his name was Mickey. He was a muscular guy, all jacked up, and every time he got up to the plate, he would take a monster hack.

Now, picture a 5-year-old playing his first T-Ball game, taking a swing and only connecting with the tee. Mickey and the 5-year-old would get the same results, lucky if the ball reached the pitcher's mound.

Anyway, Gomez, Mickey and the T-Baller basically have the same swing. They swing for the fences, chop the ball down the third-base line and beat the throw to first for an infield hit. From seeing that for a half seaso, I could care less that Gomez got traded. It's just my gut instinct. I don't think he's going to be that great. He may be good, but not great. So, to recap, the Mets traded four guys who have accomplished nothing in the major leagues for the best pitcher in baseball. Sounds good to me.

The only problem(s) now is that the contract extension may not get worked out, Santana could reject the trade, the pitcher I never heard of could fail a physical and any number of Mets-type issues that seem to always pop up will eventually pop up. Kevin Mulvey could have a partially torn labrum, Santana could say he wants to go to the Sox or Yanks instead and Omar Minaya could hold out and try and make it a three-way deal to re-acquire Victor Zambrano.

I'm not getting my hopes up until I see Johan Santana in a Mets uniform on a pitcher's mound in Port St. Lucie in March. Not a minute before.

However, the main reason I can't get excited right now is more of a family matter.

Every family has its members that have quirks, funny habits or traditions. One of my favorites was that every time I spoke with my grandparents on the phone, one would answer and the other one would hurry and grab the other phone and turn it into a conference call. They used to summer in Vermont and spend winters in Daytona Beach — not a bad gig if you ask me — but as they got older and health issues popped up, they stayed in Daytona year round.

The funny part of the conversations was trying to talk to both my grandmother and grandfather at the same time. We would chat about what was going on, what was new, the weather or anything else that came up. Gramps knows I'm a huge sports guy, so inevitably the conversation would turn to that. My grandfather was a Michael Jordan fan back in the Bulls heyday but he would always talk about the Miami Heat or the Orlando Magic, mainly because that's what was in the local papers every day. After all, NBA games don't end by 8 p.m. (his bed time) so what was in the papers was what he knew about.

My grandmother, not into a sport not called NASCAR, would then sit quietly on the line while me and my grandfather would talk about the Florida sports scene or the Celtics or the Mets or whatever was going on up north. My favorite part was when she had enough of listening to me and Gramps talk on and on about details of a game that happened a week ago and she would finally chime in, loudly, and say, "Well alright then!" That was her way of saying, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about but you guys sound like nerds and I'm bored, so wrap it up."

I always waited for, and loved, that part of the conversation. It was just her. Loving, caring, patient — to a point — and completely real. She was the best.

She died on Monday. It was her time to wrap it up. In a world full of complainers, whiners, prima donnas and spoiled brats — especially a sports world full of them — she didn't complain. If you looked at the NFL injury report in Week 16 and went through what was wrong with each player, well, she probably had entire teams beat just on her own. She lived her life — all 86 years of it — for her family.

While most Mets fans can rejoice today about the news of Johan Santana, I just can't. At least not yet. But maybe that's a good thing. The high points of Mets seasons usually come around January anyway. I'll mourn for now. Hopefully I can rejoice in October.

Pull The Bandwagon Over, Everybody Off!!!

I've been thoroughly enjoying the Giants' surprising run through the playoffs. They were picked to be around the 6-10 mark and finish last in the NFC East by most "experts" before the season started. (Blogger's note: "Expert" means someone who is paid to give an opinion or prediction on TV, in print or online who in no way has to be either accurate or accountable for said opinion or prediction. Many media outlets let two "experts" give two predictions so said outlet will always be "right".)

The problem I have now is that everyone, for some reason, seems to be treating the G-Men like they're the favorite. Most people picked Tampa Bay, Dallas and then Green Bay to eliminate Big Blue. Now all of a sudden, out of fear of being wrong four times in a row in a sport with a four-round playoff system, people are jumping ship. Guys, I don't think now is the time to jump ship.

Let's pretend the Patriots lose the Super Bowl (which may, unfortunately, be the only way the Patriots lose the Super Bowl).

The Pats already have the most wins in a single NFL season. You could make the argument that an 18-1 Patriots team could still be the best squad in league history. The only team that you could bring up in an argument would be the 1972 Dolphins, and I'm pretty sure all the "experts" would take this year's Pats in a fantasy matchup of the two teams.

What they did this year was unbelievable, especially in this era of the salary cap, parity, supermodels, candid cameras, superstar wide receivers who tank and get traded for 11 cents on the dollar, coaches who can't cut it in the big leagues and call their coach friends and tell them to trade for a certain possession wide receiver before running — tail firmly between legs — back to college, quarterbacks who can't even start when they're in college and then get put into the game only because of an injury to the starting QB and somehow become one of the best of all time, safeties who take HGH, a fan base that multiplies with each win like they were vulnerable, college-aged rabbits locked in a bedroom with nothing but cheap vodka and a Barry White album playing on an eternal loop...God, I hate the Patriots.

My point is, the Pats have not lost a game this year. Are the Giants' hot? Sure. But where is your money going? On the team with the three-game winning streak or the team with the 18-game winning streak that beat the team with the three-game winning streak four games ago?

People fall in love with the underdog. It's natural. But you're all jinxing us. When this many people align themselves with the trendy, popular pick, it never works out. The Giant bandwagon has been a fun ride the last few weeks, but it's getting really crowded. Get off. The New England wagon, much like the Boston Red Sox wagon, has infinite capacity. Hop on. They're always looking for new riders. But be warned, a few years from now, if you don't get off that wagon quick enough, you'll be sitting alone.

Spew Stew

Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, or this week, "The Marquis", is in the midst of whining and complaining about his listeners' lack of knowledge while trying to give away Super Bowl tickets during the annual trivia contest on WFAN-660. Where does he get off being Alex Trebek one week — condescending toward his own fans because they don't know the answers to questions he made up and is looking at — and the other 51 weeks out of the year he doesn't have the basic current event sports knowledge to be able to host a public access show.

Speaking of Russo, during one discussion a couple weeks back, he was critiquing the NFL All-Pro teams and managed to mispronounce four names in under a minute. I bet you didn't know DeVon Hester, Asante Samuels, Flonzell Adams and Rod Barajas were going to the Pro Bowl. I can understand mixing up Devin with DeVon and adding an "s" to Samuel's last name and even throwing in an "n" for Flozell. But Rod Barajas? Sure it's kinda similar to Rob Bironas, but Doggie, you talk about sports for 5½ hours a day 5 days a week. Can you at least pretend to care about accuracy? Can a free agent catcher not be the Tennessee Titans' Pro Bowl kicker?

Right now ESPN is doing a "Family Feud" segment on SportsCenter about the Orlando Magic with Greg Anthony and Tim Legler as the "families" and talking torso Steve Levy playing the Richard Dawson, Ray Combs, Louie Anderson, Al Borland, J. Peterman role. Anthony "buzzed" in first, by hitting the podium, and "guessed" his answer, which was accompanied by graphics and video that somehow appeared in synch with his "answer". After the "game" was over, I think Dwight Howard came on and thanked us for playing. Has ESPN reached the point where it knows there is no other national sports network to pose a challenge in the ratings so it just does whatever the hell it wants? Is there a bed big enough for all of ESPN and every professional athlete to share at once? If ESPN had the sports equivalent of CBS, NBC and FOX to compete with, the programming would be drastically different. Trust me. It might even be watchable.

On Wednesday, Barry Bonds asked a federal judge to dismiss perjury charges. I was able to get my hands on a transcript:
Bonds: "Judge, can you get me off the hook? For old times' sake?"
Judge: "Can't do it Barry."
*Bonds rides off in car with three members of jury*

Maria Sharapova and Ana Ivanovic are in the Australian Open women's final. I know you know Sharapova, but you may not know Ivanovic. YouTube her, trust me. If the people running the Aussie Open could call Vince McMahon so he could arrange Anna Kournikova as a special guest referee...hold on, I have to go set my TiVo...Is there an empty spot in that bed with ESPN and the pro athletes? If Ana and Maria are there I guess I can ignore Neil Everett and Skip Bayless seeing who can annoy the most people in America at one time.

Where have you gone, Chuck Knoblauch? (Sing it in your head as "where have you gone Chucky Knob-a-lock? Marshals want to subpoena you, ooh ooh ooh...")

The Celtics lost yesterday, but it's hard to get upset about it. It's been a while since the Celtics' losing a game was a news story, instead of the Celtics' winning a game being a news story, or a skit on SportsCenter.

Enough with the Eli stories. No he hasn't arrived. He's been here. He's been in the playoffs three straight years. He's not Peyton. He's not great. He's a good NFL quarterback, like he has been. Did Trent Dilfer arrive in 2000? No. Did Dan Marino never arrive? No. Or yes. Whichever one means he arrived, he just didn't get a ring. Stop it. Please. One quarterback wins a Super Bowl each year. Does that mean 31 quarterbacks suck each year? No. Can we just play the Super Bowl three days after the conference championships? You get your game stories, your follow-up the day after, your preview the day before and then your Super Bowl. It's enough.

Nolan Ryan declined to discuss steroids in baseball. If we just had a few more reporters that declined to write about it and a few more readers who declined to read about it, we'd be headed in the right direction. I understand it's an important issue, but the overkill about Bonds and roids and Mitchell and everything else, I think most people are numb to it. I honestly don't care who did it or when. The biggest issue with steroids in baseball is trying to figure out who was on it and how to adjust your fantasy draft for it. That's basically it. I've stayed away from Miguel Tejada and Jason Giambi for a few years now. That's the interesting part.
Let's just get spring training started. Each steroids story just reminds me of one of my favorite Simpsons quotes:

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done!
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.

Just set the fantasy draft up and play ball. Play the Super Bowl first, but then, play ball.

The Jinx

I know I'm slippin' again as far as posting to this thing, but as sports fans know, superstition can sometimes take over where rational thought used to live. I would look much better if I had come on here and predicted a Giants win over Tampa Bay, then another one over Dallas and a third one over the Pack. Then I could say "I told you so" and it would be here, documented as proof.

Well I didn't, so I can't. But I did.

I knew we (yes "we", sue me) were going to beat Tampa Bay. I'm not sure how a 9-7 team who was my first survival pool victim in Week 1 (by Seattle) managed to be favored over the Giants, but it happened. And most people picked Tampa Bay to win. Not only did people pick the Bucs, but I had to listen all week about Joey Galloway and Ike Hilliard and how they would abuse the Giants' secondary and about how Jeff Garcia had our number. In hindsight, it's disgusting. Anyone who picked Tampa should be ashamed of themselves.

I went over the Dallas thing in my last post. I thought it was a toss-up, but I felt like we had a chance. It's hard to beat a single team three times in one season, and Tony Romo, for all those keeping score, is not John Elway. He's not even Elisp Manning (holder of three playoff wins to Romo's zero).

Can we relax on Romeo for a while? Cowboys QB, dating whoever he wants, etc., etc. That's great. Notch the belt Tony. We're all rooting for you there, but the guy threw his first-ever NFL pass Week 6 of last season. He didn't get a start until Week 8. The guy has been an NFL starter for only a year and a half. Does everyone forget this?

The first game where he played a major role was in relief of Drew Bledsoe in Week 7 last season. He threw three picks and lost...to the Giants. Not everyone can come on in relief of Drew Bledsoe and immediately become a Hall of Famer. It just looks that way because of Drew Bledsoe.

In Week 13 last season, Romo and the Cowboys beat the Giants. His QB rating was 58.1 that game.

In the final five games of 2006, Romo had ratings of 58, 58, 113, 45 and 111. He started 10 games and made the Pro Bowl because the NFC sucks. You don't even have to be alive to make the NFC Pro Bowl team.

Sure he had a better year this year, but he still won a game in which he threw five picks, choked badly against the Eagles in Week 15 and came up anything but big in the game against the Pats. If Tony Romo had an older brother, let's say Carlo, and he was an all-time great and won his Super Bowl ring and was contractually obligated to be in every commercial that airs on Sundays, Tony would be a notch below Elisp right now.

Don't forget, in two playoff games, Tony has dropped the snap on a game-winning field goal attempt and gone 18-for-36 with a 64.7 rating before lofting an interception into the end zone with nine seconds left.

Two playoff games, two final plays: Fumbling a snap to botch a field goal; throwing an INT into the end zone. Cowboys fans, please, insert your own "That's my quarterback" joke here. It'll make you feel better.

NFC Championship Game: Giants at Packers.

Again, for some reason, no one gave the Giants a shot. Except, of course, for New Haven Register gambling writer Dan Nowak. Right after the Giants took care of the Cowboys, I called Dan to talk smack for picking against the G-Men for the second week in a row. Apparently I wasn't the only one.

Dan then hopped on the bandwagon and picked the Giants to beat Green Bay, in my opinion, to jinx the Gints. I asked him to reconsider, momentarily contemplating changing his column that was to appear in last Sunday's paper, something along the lines of "Packers 41, Giants 0." But the G-Men survived the Curse of Nowak (I can't say the same for a number of horses over the last few months) and reached the Super Bowl, the Super Rematch. Another chapter in New York vs. Boston, or technically, New Jersey vs. Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

(Side note: Can the Red Sox please change their name to New England also? You guys have Vermont Day and Maine Day and then you bring that freakin' trophy to New Haven and Hartford to show it off. It's enough already with the Red Sox Nation. Let's see how that nation holds up when times get tough. How's Raider Nation doing right now? Didn't think so.)

Everyone was saying it was going to be too cold for the Giants and then there's Brett Favre and Lambeau Field and blah blah blah. Enough with Brett Favre. He's been covered ad nauseum so I won't add to it. But he throws picks. And he throws them in big spots. There's your ballgame.

Since the advent of HD, I can't say that I ever wished I was NOT watching a game in high def, but seeing Tom Coughlin's face on a regular set was enough for me. I can only imagine that puss in HD. You must have been able to see blood vessels.

He looked like Larry Fine after 50 takes because Moe couldn't get the slap right. Did anyone else think he was going to have to go straight to the hospital after the game, maybe even at halftime? Now he's going to Arizona for the Super Bowl. Lambeau to Arizona. He'll probably evaporate.

You know how some boxers just get the crap beat out of them in a fight but they hold on and gut it out and finally get the win but you know they'll never be the same again? That game had to take a couple years off of Tom's career, which isn't going to be that much longer anyway.

All in all, I'm a happy guy right now. My teams are doing well. The Celtics are cruising, the Bruins are in the playoff mix, the G-Men are going to the Super Bowl, the Mets are at least a contender every year (a far, far cry from the 90s), the Dukies are in the Top 5 and Notre Dame football is nowhere in sight. I'll explain my allegiances in a future blog. Just putting them out there so you know where I stand.

I'll get to my Super Bowl analysis as we get closer to the game. Notice I didn't say "expert" analysis. There are no experts, remember that. Nobody knows anything.

That's why games are played on a field, not in a studio in Bristol.

Take a Look at My G-Men

Hey all, sorry for the delay. I figured since I don't get the holidays off for my real job, I would take the holidays off from my blog.

Elisp actually won a playoff game. Hold on, I'll get back to that in a second...

Tennessee just used 8 receivers on its first play against San Diego. Call me crazy, but if you shift into a one-man offensive line with 8 guys split out for the first play of a playoff game, you're admitting that you don't think you can win. I don't even need to watch the rest of the game. Next week, San Diego will take on Indy and the Pats will host the Jaguars. Back to the G-Men.

Just to give you an example of how football fans, Giant or not, view Elisp Manning, I used a joke in a text message to one of my Redskin buddies and two hours later received the same joke from a Giant buddy, with one small exception.

2:30 p.m.
Redskin fan: Where has this Eli been all year?
Me: That's Peyton warming up during the bye week, Eli will be back next week.

4:30 p.m.
Me: Bring on the Cowboys!
Giant fan: I think that was Archie playing today.

Not a lot of trust there, which doesn't bode well for next Sunday against Dallas. However, as the eternal optimist-type fan, there are a few shimmers of silver lining emerging from around the black cloud hovering over Texas Stadium (or Dallas Stadium, if you're Howie Long).

1. Silver Lining: With the Redskins out of the picture, the Giants will be on the road for however long they last in the playoffs. The Giants are 8-1 on the road this year. Black Cloud: The "1" was in Dallas.

2. Silver Lining: The other two teams still alive in the NFC — Green Bay and Seattle — are without question the two hardest places to play on the road, especially in January. Black Cloud: Dallas is no picnic.

3. Silver Lining: Eli Manning's most recent playoff memory is winning on the road at Tampa Bay to get his first ever postseason victory as quarterback of the New York Football Giants. Tony Romo's most recent playoff memory is fumbling the snap on a 19-yard field goal attempt with under two minutes left in the Cowboys' 21-20 loss to Seattle in the first round of last year's playoffs. Black Cloud: If Romeo hadn't committed one of the most individually pathetic gag jobs in the history of all things sport, he would have won his first playoff game in his first attempt and possibly gone on to bigger and better things last January. Plus, I'm sure he wants to get that taste out of his mouth.

4. Silver Lining: Terrell Owens has a bad ankle. Black Cloud: Plaxico Burress has had a bad ankle since he was on the Steelers. He practices less than Sterling Sharpe did back in the day.

(Update: Vince Young is down and not getting up; maybe Tennessee does have a shot. And now we go to a commercial, which of course features Peyton Manning. I still find it hard to believe that this guy gets so many endorsements and I still don't know anyone that likes him. I don't even think Eli likes him anymore.)

I guess to sum it all up, it's just good to get a playoff win. It's been way too long.

You remember that feeling Boston fans, don't you? Just happy to get a playoff win.

Nah, probably not.